I must fight
To stay on my feet
So many blows
This worlds dealt me
No matter what
I shall stand
And take this pain
Like a man
Though i will not win
I cannot lose
Because when i come home
I'll come to you
I'll squeeze you tight
With kisses too
Then i'll let loose
the good news
I lost the fight,
You won the war
Because all along
My love is yours
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Hey J, What does FML stand for? So my interview went well. Ive only been to the morgue to drop a body off. So when they were showing me were Im going to be working I almost lost it. They opened these huge doors, Then all this cold air came rushing out. Yes it was the holding tanks! They call them deaths doors.. omg When I got back to my car my heart was racing so hard that I turned on the air conditioner and waited to drive. Trip out J, that was some shit. Ok on a different note. What did you mean in your blog about your family saying "What the fuck" if they stumbled across this site? What does that mean? I'm deeply disturbed at the fack that you dumped me over the phone, and youve not told them how stupid youve been to me! You havent told david or anyone that you miss me? That you regret throwing me away? Have you told them that your trying to woo me with your poems, and Im sorrys? Or am I still the stupid bitch that goes back to a guy that is known for trouble? A HUGE, HUGE part of me even considering even speaking to you again, depends on how honest youve been to David and Sidead!! I really like her and Ive truly loved David and your family for years! I wont feel like such a fool around you and your family if you talked to them about what you want from me and us. Maby this isnt going to work after all maby im stupid to even try to let myselfe consider it. I havent forgiven you, I may never be able to. Every time I think about you My adrenaline rushes my system and I feel faint sometimes I have to sit down. The docter I was working with told me im having stress and fear endused panic attacks from you. He said thats my bodys alarm system to stay away from you because my body fears you. Who knew. I need something uplifting. I feel more depressed rite now then I have in the past couple of months. Talking to you and reading these things and thinking soo much is making me feel weak. Im not eating or drinking, yesterday I forgot to drink water? Thats not normal for me, and my period stopped 2 days after I got it. I think this new visit from you has jarred my body I dont think Im well. See you later J......M
ReplyDeleteP.S I know this isnt helpful to hear and I probely shouldnt mention it but last night I had a realy bad dream it was so vivid your grandma died. Please take care of her, that wasnt the first one Ive had this week..M