Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I thought...

...it was going to be another 2 days of forever before you posted anything else if anything else. I don't remember exactly what i said that night, but i do remember what happened. So maybe you didn't technically "throw" the ring, but you didn't hand it to me. Two of the pieces were spread across the table and one fell to the floor. But it doesn't really matter at this point. And the fact that you would only put a ring on my finger if we actually get/got married, actually seems fair.

But i told you in the letter, i pushed you away because i knew at the time i couldn't be able to give you what you deserve. But i was wrong. The fact that i have a felony on my record doesn't help any. But i'm not going to use that as an excuse anymore. I am able to give you what you deserve. I just have to try.

And i always wanted to marry you. I thought about it allot. I've always wanted for us to get married in front or on top of one of the pyramids in Egypt. Or at least honeymoon there. Though i may not share the love or interest that you have for these things. The pyramids are still fucking awesome.

Okay, tylenol p.ms are kicking in. I'm sorry if the poems are confusing to you. I guess they're not in a prose style (not straightforward). And i think i understand. i would try to explain what i think understand, but i'm pretty drowsy right now and don't think i should try right now.

Goodnight Megan

1 comment:

  1. Jesus, the day I've had J! I was startled awake by my bedroom door flying open. BANG!! My mom rolls in telling me to get up and find a second job. I've totaled 48 hours in 4 days! But I dont think I can ever please her. Sometimes I wonder why I care to try. I wish I could just give up, Ive tried my whole life to give up and quit I am not sucessful. I know that I should give up on you I know this, I should turn my computer off and put you away in a box and never open it again! I wonder if Ill ever come home to my husband and kids. It seems like a fairy tail, not real. You and I cant concieve!? You wont try, you dont want it like I do and I cant be with someone that dosent want it rite now. Maby I shouldnt wait for someone, maby I should just go get life myselfe. Today I have an interview with the Alvarado coroners office. They need an aprentice embalmer. This evening I made an apointment to meet this realistate broker. I guess for a $100 fee they will find places for me that I would like. I'm going to try this alone. My experience with counting on someone else has spit me out rite were I am. I'm soo lonely. My pain has aged me.
    On a different note, Have you talked to your mother or your family about how you feel about me? I need to know what if anything youve said. Also I want you to tell me whats going on up there? I mean it Justin!
    Wish me luck today please, oh and remember, you never tell a blonde girl to break a leg.. Because chances are SHE WILL...M

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