Meg, i've always wanted our own. You have no idea. But your right. We can't be friends. because you are my love.I can't promise you anything, for it will be hard enough. But if i can get a job, make it to where it's possible to have our own; Will there be a chance for us? Or is this really over?
I'm so fucking broken. I swear my heart actually aches. I told you i'm ready to quit. But i'd rather try to do things justice. To do you justice. I hope when you said you wouldn't look at this page again you were lying. I need to know if there's a reason to try or if to give up this life and pain. If you really don't look at this page again i will write you a letter 2morrow. In the mean time i will earnestly start looking for work. I miss you.
Ok! I admit it, I lied, I had to look. lol I broke another promise to myselfe. I try soo hard to bury you. Every day I wake up I bury you. I do my best to not think about you and the hell of 5 years youve draged me in and out of. I can honestly say ive done well trying to forget you. I dont feel that you deserve the love, lust and loyelty I so easily give to you.
ReplyDeleteI fear the pain, and disapointment that comes with being with you. Every time you tell me your done with me 2 to 3 months later you wont leave me alone. First you threaten me, then your words are hurtful, then you plead, beg and threaten scuicide. You are my living nightmare. Why would I do this to myselfe again!!!!! Thats all I hear screaming in my head. This is you justin, people dont change you told me that. Our perfect love, you get tired of. What more then that is there. Theres nothing you can do that will keep you from tireing of me. It hurts deeply when I look at you and I know your done, your tired of us. The long hertful breaks that you need away from me to figure out how much you truly love me have broken the person I am! Are you honest with yourselfe enough to relize that you will always tire of us, you will always walk away from me. I dont think I can beg you crying not to walk away from us again. I think you like the idea of us, you dont truly love me! Please think hard about this, please hear me. Ive never loved or squezzed someone as tight as ive held you. Ive always known that one day again youl turn and walk away... We have too many things to change, We need our own, we need our broken promises to eachother, we need everything youve said you dont want... Its not realy up to me I guess ive always wanted you. I think truly its up to you..M