still

my mind is racing
while i sit motionless
I try again
but i know its hopeless
so i reminisce
on better days
memories of us
and wish for things
that i cant change
so i fall
further away
i ask of you
for me
to pray

what's been?

My love,
is like this,
words on a page,
because once you read this-
It's gone away,
But whats the truth?
is it gone?
or there to stay?
Let's end the games:
mine's not here to play,
is it safe to say,
those 3 little words,
whether a noun-
or some verbs,

adjectives cant describe,
the proper feelin,
you've got me illin,
you've got my mind
blown 2 the ceilin'
feelin,
like a villain,
but on the down low,
i cant control
the pain u b spillin,
to my soul.

thought u should know,
it's a whole 'nother mess-
but i love u-
 none the less

My jungle of love

Cant see the forest,
through the trees,
too busy climbing these,
trying to get to the top,
denying pleas,
of loved ones hunger,
with a thirst for more,
you ignore the pain
aim for the top,
because you wanted more,
than what little it seemed,

at the time,

but times passed now,

and you're stuck,

with what you left behind,

there's no escape,

so now you're draped in the canopy

Of what you thought was a forest,

But still you cannot see,

what life was worth,

Whilst you've got it bad,

My jungle's twice as worse.

when your heart turns cold

The things we say,
To push away,
What we hold close,
Just too afraid,
too ashamed,
it's too little
too late....

When your heart turns cold
all thats left is hate,
we cant make love,
so the hearts we break,
one last time,
for old times sake,
we embrace our fate,
disgracing what once was,
forever changing us.

When your heart turns cold,
and there's no life left,
escape isn't an option,
and you pray for death,
Wishin the end would come quicker,
So every day is a test,
When your heart turns cold.

4 tha fam

No longer can i cry 

for loved ones lost,

They probly wish i died,

still actin like 

I live life wrong

But they some mark ass tricks,

hatin on my shit,

callin yourselves fam,

ya'll can suck my dick,

cuz its F-R-Y 

til the day i die,

I-B smokin that 

hopin that 

i learn ta fly

priceless

sitting here wondering,
will this pain ever go away,
It only seems to get worse,
with every passing day,
plus all the things you say,
the games u play,
an how u act,
is kinda stoopid,
cuz deep inside
I know u feelin cupid,
So - Stop tryin ta kill it,
dont conceal it,
that just aint gonna work,
i admit that i aint perfect,
But take my love
for what it's worth.

hopelessly hopeless

So, somehow, i have her back in my life.  It's only phone conversations,e-mails, and texts, but we're communicating.  It's showing me where all the little pieces of our broken hearts lie, and in some places putting them back together.  Problem is that within a couple of months she'll be gone; moving out of state.  So soon enough, i'll have lost her for good.  After the initial shock of realizing this, i keep thinking: "how much longer do i have then?".  With the small hope that maybe we could work things out, and live happily ever after, i was slowly losing my will to die, whilst gaining a reason to live.  Now that's gone.

She is the only thing in this world i find truly worth living for.  I'm just curious as to how much longer i'll put off ending my life, knowing that soon she'll be gone.