Too much

In the heart lives a love
lying to itself
beating voraciously still
long dead
but still...

A rest awoken by a question
that thou has arisen
pain all thine own
I cannot give in.

For whether a game
or a sincere endeavor
too much is enough
that i know much better

So i retreat
from a battle long over
re live it again
yet again i fall over.

still

my mind is racing
while i sit motionless
I try again
but i know its hopeless
so i reminisce
on better days
memories of us
and wish for things
that i cant change
so i fall
further away
i ask of you
for me
to pray

what's been?

My love,
is like this,
words on a page,
because once you read this-
It's gone away,
But whats the truth?
is it gone?
or there to stay?
Let's end the games:
mine's not here to play,
is it safe to say,
those 3 little words,
whether a noun-
or some verbs,

adjectives cant describe,
the proper feelin,
you've got me illin,
you've got my mind
blown 2 the ceilin'
feelin,
like a villain,
but on the down low,
i cant control
the pain u b spillin,
to my soul.

thought u should know,
it's a whole 'nother mess-
but i love u-
 none the less

My jungle of love

Cant see the forest,
through the trees,
too busy climbing these,
trying to get to the top,
denying pleas,
of loved ones hunger,
with a thirst for more,
you ignore the pain
aim for the top,
because you wanted more,
than what little it seemed,

at the time,

but times passed now,

and you're stuck,

with what you left behind,

there's no escape,

so now you're draped in the canopy

Of what you thought was a forest,

But still you cannot see,

what life was worth,

Whilst you've got it bad,

My jungle's twice as worse.

when your heart turns cold

The things we say,
To push away,
What we hold close,
Just too afraid,
too ashamed,
it's too little
too late....

When your heart turns cold
all thats left is hate,
we cant make love,
so the hearts we break,
one last time,
for old times sake,
we embrace our fate,
disgracing what once was,
forever changing us.

When your heart turns cold,
and there's no life left,
escape isn't an option,
and you pray for death,
Wishin the end would come quicker,
So every day is a test,
When your heart turns cold.

4 tha fam

No longer can i cry 

for loved ones lost,

They probly wish i died,

still actin like 

I live life wrong

But they some mark ass tricks,

hatin on my shit,

callin yourselves fam,

ya'll can suck my dick,

cuz its F-R-Y 

til the day i die,

I-B smokin that 

hopin that 

i learn ta fly

priceless

sitting here wondering,
will this pain ever go away,
It only seems to get worse,
with every passing day,
plus all the things you say,
the games u play,
an how u act,
is kinda stoopid,
cuz deep inside
I know u feelin cupid,
So - Stop tryin ta kill it,
dont conceal it,
that just aint gonna work,
i admit that i aint perfect,
But take my love
for what it's worth.

hopelessly hopeless

So, somehow, i have her back in my life.  It's only phone conversations,e-mails, and texts, but we're communicating.  It's showing me where all the little pieces of our broken hearts lie, and in some places putting them back together.  Problem is that within a couple of months she'll be gone; moving out of state.  So soon enough, i'll have lost her for good.  After the initial shock of realizing this, i keep thinking: "how much longer do i have then?".  With the small hope that maybe we could work things out, and live happily ever after, i was slowly losing my will to die, whilst gaining a reason to live.  Now that's gone.

She is the only thing in this world i find truly worth living for.  I'm just curious as to how much longer i'll put off ending my life, knowing that soon she'll be gone.  

a qusetion

Might i awaken,
from these broken dreams?
my breath held still,
Is there life,
left inside me?
I blink,
And a tear drops my eye,
For the feeling i have,
This love,
wont die wont lie wont stop
Am I...awake?

With nothing left to give,
Do i have what it takes
Away from a pain
that wont subside
YOu buried me alive
inside your heart
but i gave you mine
So would u b so kind
as to remind me
of how it fell apart
could we start
all over again
just as friends
with new beginings
or is this just where it ends?
In the meanwhile
i'll pretend to b strong,
cuz this isn't just a song
'til the day that i'm gone.
With you my love
will live on.

trying to find it

Love lost,
then found,
and tossed away,
Talked to you today,
And all you had to so say was:
"you lie, you trife"
You were supposed to be my wife,
for life,
So-
What am i to do?
just keep on trucking,
i'm gon ride,
but it's you i'm gona keep on lovin,
and that's aight,
cuz u know u right,
and at night,
all the times when i write these things,
i'm gon try to remember u as my loving queen,
still, u don't know bout all the pain u bring,
it seems that,
even speakin is just - outta the question,
we know this life teach lessons,
and thats a bitch,
whether poor or rich,
im fin ta get mine how i live,
wild and crazy - til i find,
what the purpose is,
but was is worth a shit?

Do you remember?

use your photographic memory,
To remember me,
Walking into that 7-11,
this time i'm not on a jetti,

And you're not at home waiting,
for my return,
or these words that i'm writing,
because that bridge has been burned,

Whilst on this side of love,
i remember and cherish,
The moments we shared,
For you have they perished?

So it seems that they have,
At least dead inside you,
where i long to be,
For my love still stands true,

Do you remember?
this love that's for you,
Please let love remember,
Our vows to say i do,

sleepless

i close my eyes to sleep and dream,
but the vision i seen was so obscene,
cuz the things u bring it seems,
 just pain insanly haunting me,
With the thought that we, could never be,
and all thats left is memories,
I state on track the fact that i will love u
endlessly
faithfully awaiting better days,
that passed me by
but still i stay,
betrayed by vows,
we chose 2 say,
but instead u chose 2 walk away

You left me here.
It's where i've been,
And where i'll b,
To my chagrin,
I just dont know where to begin,
When love wont die,
this pain wont end,
This love u just cant comprehend,
my heart will break,
before it bends,
But before then,
love will transcend,
And we'll be one,
love once again.

So that day,
may come to pass,
that from so far,
U just come back,
forgive me for,
how i might act,
cuz girl u know,
i got it bad,
It's somethin like,
i never had,
and on that booty,
i might grab,
wanna make a baby?
we'll go halves,
My love is trill,
remember that.